Whether it’s public figures or sporting heroes, academicians or business leaders, mums and dads loom large as the first and most lasting influences on most of our lives and the ones who set down the values by which we live.
So, I was surprised when I read the results of a recent poll taken of teenagers in the USA by Deloitte*. The poll covered a national sample of 750 teens aged from 12 to 17 years and, according to the findings, only about half cite their parents as role models.
So, if today’s generation of adults consider their own parents as their primary role models, what’s gone wrong with the next generation? If parents can’t be trusted as a symbol of what can be achieved, who is guiding the aspirations of our children?
Truth and consequences
Among the key findings of the survey was the fact that more than one in four teens thinks that behaving violently is sometimes, often or always acceptable, while 20% of the respondents said they had personally behaved violently toward another person in the past year, and 41% reported a friend had done so.
Not only attitudes to violence come into question, but the perception of what makes for ethical behaviour. 49% – nearly half – of those who said they are ethically prepared, believe that lying to parents and guardians is acceptable, and 61% admit to having done so in the past year.
“While some traditions may be forgotten or overlaid by host country cultures, retaining the old values of responsibility, sharing and truth may be the best way we have to help our children navigate the new world.”
While there is nothing new about the creative genius of a young mind when faced with a barrage of questions from an angry parent and a looming punishment, there was at least an underlying acceptance in the minds of most of today’s adults that lying as a child – while maybe necessary at the time – was not a good thing to do. And as adults, we have seen high profile examples of people facing retribution, less for what they’ve done, than for lying about it afterwards.
Ethics in the home
The good news is that slightly more than half of the teens interviewed (54%) did consider their parents as role models. But before we all quickly reassure ourselves that we are part of that 54%, it wouldn’t hurt to evaluate how well we are really doing in living the ethics we so readily preach to our offspring.
Most of those who don’t cite their parents as role models are turning to their friends or said they didn’t have a role model. Which begs the question: What could we be doing to inspire our younger generations rather then having them reach for the nearest set of headphones or log onto their online chat rooms when they see us coming?
The survey found that teenagers feel more accountable to themselves (86%) than they do to their parents or guardians (52%), their friends (41 %) or society (33 %).
As parents, guardians and mentors, how are we contributing to the raising of a ‘me-centred’ and ‘me-first’ generation? What examples are we offering of service, support and accountability to our wider community? An absence of adult role models can leave a vacuum of ethical guidance as young people enter adulthood. If adults are not viewed as role models, others will be filling the gap.
Leadership in the workplace
Today’s teens are tomorrow’s leaders – so what do these findings mean for employers?
Teens’ feelings about accountability, coupled with self-reported unethical behavior, raise a potential concern among employers, say the pollsters, because ties within a community, school, work environment or social network often guide behavior. If teens lack accountability to others, the data suggests that their choices may be driven purely by self-interest and not by interest in the greater good. As we struggle to emerge from a global economic crisis generated by a lack of ethics and accountability, what does this tell us about the chances for the next generation?
In a few years these young individuals will be managing businesses, investing money and teaching children and the survey results raise concerns for employers about how ethically prepared their future workforce will be.
The solutions to these challenges, say the pollsters, lie in tools to help teens become better ethically prepared. Ainar D. Aijala, global consulting leader, Deloitte, and Chairman of JA Worldwide, an organization dedicated to inspiring and preparing young people to succeed in a global economy, aptly sums up the challenge. “Teens need training in ethical decision making, practical tools and role models that help them understand not only how to make the right choices, but how those choices will impact their personal success and the success of the organizations they join.”
Where’s the cillage?
In this piece, I’ve posed more questions than answers because it is not a simple issue. Whether by choice, necessity or history, many of us live outside our countries of origin. While some traditions may be forgotten or overlaid by host country cultures, retaining the old values of responsibility, sharing and truth may be the best way we have to help our children navigate the new world.
In African culture, it is commonly said that it takes a village to raise a child. But when we are no longer living in our villages, how do we ensure that our children feel part of a community, understand its shared values and goals and – yes- its rules?
Because whatever it is that our parents did to become our role models has to be a guide to us in what we do for the younger generations. For, as Jomo Kenyatta put it, “our children may learn about the heroes of the past. Our task is to make ourselves the architects of the future.”
Frances Williams: Editor of ReConnect Africa and CEO of Interims for Development.
IMAGE CREDITS: http://www.justincobbacademy.com